Little Flowers!!!

I am so happy - my prayers were really answered!! I have been worrying and fretting about Girl Scouts quite a bit lately. Last year I was co-leader to start a new Girl Scouts troop for Barbara's class. I was also in charge of setting up the bank account and keeping track of money (soooo not my forte!!) One of the other Moms who leads her older daughter's GS troop was the one to start it and asked for other moms to help lead it, with the intent to have them take over. So another mom and I agreed to help be co-leaders and this year, with her return to teaching full time, etc., the mom who started it gave over responsibility to me. There just is SO much to do all the time with 3 kids, and although I thought I would have all this time once the kids started school, i still find myself struggling just to keep the household running smoothly and I still have a one and a half year old at home who keeps me very busy! Plus I am pregnant, have been very sick and exhausted this time, tutor Spanish in the evenings, have Spanish Club, etc. And besides that, my heart is just not into it. I don't have anything against Girl Scouts, but I'm just not thrilled about it either, and there is SO much more paperwork and beurocracy type obligations to it than i'd like to deal with. That and the whole fundraising thing, when we already have so many school fundraisers, is just not my cup of tea.

I have been wishing I could help start a Little Flowers group instead with some friends, but just felt so worried and guilty about giving up Girl Scouts. I felt like I was letting people down, because if I didn't do it, I didn't think anyone else would either and then what would happen to their GS troop and what about the money we had raised last year, etc... But then I was also thinking, if I really don't WANT to do this, why am I trying to force myself to? Why do I feel like I have an obligation to do this, when obviously the other parents are not able to do it either? Man my guilt factor is way too high!

So I had been praying about it, and I decided that when I saw my friends (who all homeschool) yesterday for a playdate, I would ask them if they were interested in starting a Little Flowers group, or if they had done so already could I join in. This kind of group is much more along the lines of what I want to be spending my time and effort preparing for, it is much less beaurocracy and PCness, and it is what I feel like I want to make sure my daughter is getting more of! And if they said yes, then I would take that as a sign it was O.K. to let go of GS and go with LF instead.

Well, before I even thought to mention it, my friend brought up that she didn't know if I would be interested with the other things we had going on, but they were thinking of starting a Little Flowers group!!! I couldn't help it, I blurted out "SHUT UP!!" (Luckily, I think only the baby was around - I sure hope no older kids heard me say that!) I am SOOOOOO happy and my prayers were answered so clearly!! I am still feeling sick/guilty about haveing to say "NO" to something and what will happen to the GS troop, but I wrote an initial email to the other 2 ladies explaining what I had decided. I hope they understand and I hope it all works out. I'm sure it will, I need to be more trusting that God will help me work things out. I know in the grand scheme it is no big deal, but for me it is so hard to make these kinds of decisions and just say no if needs be. I hate 'letting people down", which is silly because in the long run if I am so stressed and taking my time away from the kids to do something I don't want to then I am letting my family down, who are the ones I have committed myself to serving to my best abilities at this point in time!!

I'm really looking forward to the Little Flowers group- it will be such a breath of fresh air!!!