My Journey Through Advent - the rocky road

This Advent started out so peaceful and happy. I was looking forward to posting photos of the Jesse tree we finally managed to make, thanks to seeing a friend's more do-able (than the putsy felt ornament type) example. The kids were really enjoying the Bible stories every evening while we had hot cocoa and lit candles. Mom knew I was searching for a wooden manger with Baby Jesus doll and just couldn't afford the $30 one at the marian Center, and gifted me money to go buy the beautiful one I had my eye on, so the kids could put a piece of soft hay for each good day as is traditional in anticipation of the Christ Child's arrival. When we had to babysit one of BB's more "worldy" friends on a snow day, I was pleased to hear BB take her friend in and proudly show her the manger. "Feel this!" she said, pointing to the wooden cradle, "It's way too hard to put a new baby in, right?" Her friend nodded. "But now feel THIS" (the hay) "Every time we do a good deed we get to put a piece in so it will be really soft when we put baby Jesus in on Christmas!"

The kids had a lot of fun pulling out all the decorations (1/2 of which I put away again later of gave to Mags to use at her place- it's such a hhodge podge of stuff I had) , and they got out all the Nativity sets. Let's see, for kids nativity sets we have: a soft stuffed set I let the baby take to Church and play with (sometimes even suck on), a Fisher Price Little People Nativity set, also great for toddlers, a cheap plastic set, a Playmobil set, an amazing Usborne book that has hard thick puzzle type pieces that pop out of the story and have little stands that also pop out so you can set up a whole elaborate scene as you read the book, a board book with a felt piece nativity set to play with on the pages (also great for younger kids at Church), and of course our family Fontanini set, which is NOT for play. :) We also ended up with about 4 advent wreaths this year! The main dinner one, a set with homemade votives BB made at school, my white angels ceramic one (because it reminds me of Mom's) and a felt one for kids. We made Advent chains, and put up the calendar with little doors and ornaments to put on a tree. We were really in a groove.

And then I got sick. First it was just a cold and sore throat, which I could just push through and go about my regular duties for the most part. But then a week later, just as I seemed to be getting a little better, it got way worse! I ended up in bed from last Friday, all through the weekend, and on into the week. I have been just miserable, with a horrible cough, coughing up gunk, congestion, irritated throat from the coughing, headache, pregnancy reflux and throwing up all the time from the throat irritation, chills, and worst of all just complete fatigue and body failure. Every night I have been up most of the time coughing and coughing and blowing my nose, uncomfortable. Every morning I keep hoping I will feel a little better and start to get back to normal, with no luck. I missed going to Breakfast with Jesus with the family, no one got to go to the much anticipated "Colombian Christmas" at Uncle Chris & Aunt Carolina's place in Chicago, and it just kills me to not be able to take care of my family. Robbie has been wonderful,(although frazzled) taking over everything with the kids, including taking them to school in the morning, coming home early, trying to keep up with the laundry and dishes. Even with his superhuman (for a man :))efforts, though, the housework alone to catch up was overwhelming, not to mention the fact that Christmas is in a week and we haven't been able to finish shopping, get a tree, send out cards (that won't be happening- maybe for epiphany!?) make Uncle & Aunt gifts, and a host of other activities. Once I finally was well enough to go through my email I found I had about 5 requests for help with school/other things and I had to just say "No" across the board to all of them. Good thing too, because I am STILL feeling sick and run down.

Robbie took off work early on Tuesday to take me to the Dr. and although I was sure I must have pneumonia with all the gunk I was hacking up, she said it was just a virus (ie cold????) and that with me being pregnant my immune system was just run down. I mean, usually (like the first whole week of this 2 week saga) I can go about my normal duties just run down while having a cold, but I don't understand why my body shut down completely and I literally was in bed all the time - that's notlike me. And I was the ONLY one to get sick like this! Everyone had the same mild cold weeks ago but mine just got worse. Anyhow, the icing on the cake was that Sammy and I got pink eye the next day. I am a pink eye phobic- I hate it! It means being so careful and washing all the pillowcases and throwing out my eyemakeup-ugh! Luckily my Dr. didn't make me come back in but just sent over the eyedrop prescription to Walgreens, but I did have to drag Sammy in to his Dr. and it turns out the poor guy had an ear infection in one ear to boot! He's on antibiotics and doing great- that little trooper- I wouldn't have even known!

Well meanwhile, Robbie has been stressed to the max from all the extra work (at least he told my Mom he now realizes just how much I actually do!) and worried about money with all the Christmas expenses yet and a trip to TX with the five of us and me needing some maternity clothes for the wedding.

So I came to a realization. In spite of all this, I kept having the picture of the Holy Family pop into my mind. As I pitied myself for how miserable I was feeling,and worry and fret about having to drive in a car to TX while 7 months pregnant, I was ashamed to think of Mary on her Advent journey. This was not a warm fuzzy cozy time for her either!! She didn't have a nice cozy heated car and McDonalds and rest stops for bathroom breaks along the way! She had to ride on a DONKEY while NINE months along for longer than my 20 hr drive! I'm sure it was much worse than my misery to be starting labor and having contractions on that donkey while Joseph searched frantically for an inn. And poor Joseph! WHile Robbie feels upset that he can't provide for our needs in the way he wants to, how must Jospeh have felt to have to drag his pregnant wife on that trip and not be able to provide more than a cold cave for her in which to give birth to the Son of God!

So I guess the least I can do is offer this up and offer up my complete unpreparedness and my discomfort. It unifies me with Mary in her journey which is really what this entire season is about. I am at least grateful that I will (hopefully!) be recovered by Christmas and be able to participate fully in the celebrations with my family. And I am so lucky not to be hosting any of the events! I was looking at my Mom's Book Club Book, "Grace Cafe" and in there the author was talking about the powerful intercession of St. Joseph. With that coincidence of thinking about him and the Holy Family, Advent, and the mention in her book, I decided to do the 30 day St. Joseph novena that she suggests in the book. So today is the first day. Only a few more days until Christmas and a few more days after that until we embark on our TX trip. And I'm nowhere nesar ready for either! Jesus, Mary & Joseph be with us on our way!!