Last night as my I watched the election results unfold with my stomach in knots and nerves wracked, I finally grew tired and started to fall asleep. Thinking the process would last well into the late hours, I got ready to go to bed. But when I heard from the TV downstairs that Ohio had been called and then soon after the entire election, I couldn't help but start crying. Deep down I had expected this result, but had hoped we would be spared this trial. What was going to happen with our country? How were we going to fight the evils being promoted and sanctioned? I went to prayer to search out God's will in all of this. I have had a sense of foreboding and in prayer have been coming to expect hard things that I did not feel prepared to handle. And in front of my icons of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary, a seemingly random thought popped to mind.
What came to mind without me having yet thought through why it came to mind, was an incident from earlier in the week. It was a conversation with Jimmy. He was almost in tears, and when I asked why, he said he just felt nervous because there was so much to do to get ready for our upcoming trip. He said he still needed to pack all the things and yet it was going to be such a really busy week for us. He didn't know how he was going to get it all done. "Oh Jimmy!!" I just chuckled and hugged him and said, "Oh Jimmy, YOU don't need to pack everything yourself- I'm going to be packing most of it for you while you are at school! You'll help with a few things that I will ask you to do but mostly I'm going to be doing that for you- you don't have to worry!" This took a huge load off of him immediately and restored his zeal for the trip.
Recalling this incident I also felt a huge load lifted from ME, as I realized that in the same way Jesus, Mary and the Holy Spirit would be doing most of the hard work for me. Whatever I am asked to do, they will do the "planning and packing" for me. I am not going to be sent on any journey without them and their capable guidance. So whatever the future holds for our country and our Catholic faith, although yes the task is going to be a lot of work and quite daunting, we will not be the ones to do the "heavy lifting" in this spiritual battle. I realized that this incident with Jimmy was almost identical to an example given in the Lighthouse Media CD called "Trust in the Lord" that I had recently listened to (and LOVE- everyone should listen to it!!!!) but the real life experience with my own son feeling this way gave me the insight into how truly silly my worries are given the love and providence of our Father in Heaven, our Mother Mary, her spouse the Holy Spirit and her son Jesus Christ.
I asked Mary to give me a crash course on Trust, and asked her to show me what "textbook" she wanted me to use in the morning as I was tired. But almost immediately it came to mind the last appendix from "Consoling the Heart of Jesus" which contains exerpts from the Diary of St. Faustina, and then the Diary itself. (I only have about 3 copies and still haven't read it yet!)
I hope that my sharing this very personal experience of prayer helps someone else to fear not, and to trust confidently in the Lord that everything we need will be provided to us in the time that it is needed. I pray for detachment and complete abandonment to His will. This morning's Mass readings reaffirmed this call to trust and detachment. May God bless our country and his Church and have mercy on us all. Be not afraid!!
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