Stolen Minutes

WHew! Having three kids, at least at this newborn stage, is completely exhausting and non-stop work. But I am forcing a stop on this merry-go-round, as Samuel is silently slumbering (practicing the alliteration) and the kids are occupied. I feel almost dizzy from the continual movement from one task, to the next, to the next, trying to mesh a new baby's constant need to nurse, to be held, to be changed, to be interacted with, with all the needs of two active older children - making sure I get them outside, let them play in the pool in the yard, keep them out of trouble, get them their meals, and ALWAYS desperately trying to keep up with the house and all the mess that can be created. My back hurts, I've hardly slept in days, I feel cut off from the world at times. At some point pretty much every day I break down crying and then feel much better. I went to a birthday for Ann's two girls at the park yesterday, and it felt like I'd been through a marathon by the time I finally got everyone ready, fed, geared up, happy and out the door. But it was SO worth it to spend those couple hours with a bunch of other young moms with kids. Most of the friends we spend time with now are from Barbara's school and most are "done" having kids, or at least not at the baby stage right now. It was a breath of fresh air to be around other moms who know how hard it is that I can vent to, without them saying, "See, that's why we decided we'd have two and that's it!"


The one thing I have to save me is perspective. Robbie seems to have more of it than me this time, but he is right. At least we can now look at BB & J and see that eventually Samuel will be at that point. I will eventually sleep again, I will be able to fit in exercise, I may forget how puffy my stomach was, I will feel like a real human being again someday soon and not feel lost in a tunnel of long, shapeless, endless summer days.

Another perspective is that we have friends with one child in BB's class who have been trying and trying to have a second, and have not been able to. They are going to a fertility specialist and are sad that they are still not seeing progress. I have to remind myself how really blessed we are to have three VERY healthy children.

With this post, there are thank you cards not being written, papers and mail not being sorted and dealt with, floors not being washed, and myriad other minute tasks not being attended to, but that's O.K. Something has to give, and I'd rather it not be my sanity! :)