Happily Ever After

Yesterday afternoon Becky wanted me to watch Enchanted with her before she'd be leaving for UD the next day. It was a fluffy, but cute movie. BB & J enjoyed it as well. At the end, like many movies, there was the fairytale ending, where the Dad married the "princess" and he, his little girl and the princess were all dancing around in his apartment, having a great time.

It made me think about "happily ever after" in real life and what that really is. Because there are definitely plenty of moments in my life like that ending where we are all caught up in a moment as a family, laughing and playing, or when I see my husband fully engaged in play with the kids, or I walk into the room to see my daughter reading stories to my son, curled up together on the couch. Sometimes in moments like these I have an "out of body" experience where I feel like I am observing from the outside and I have this wistful almost painful pang of happy sadness realizing how beautiful the moment is. I'm not sure why it is always slightly painful when I feel this happy, perhaps because I realize it is fleeting? Because I know that this time when they are young and innocent and so darn happy will pass in a flash and they will be grown up?

In any case, although these moments are not as few and far between as one might think, they are obviously not the full reality. I mean, there are moments like yesterday morning in the grocery store where BB whined and pouted, then wanted to pick out some junky Trix yogurt and I wouldn't let her b/c she was acting like a brat. I had to take the walk of shame to the checkout with her crying all the way. I'm embarrassed to admit that if I heard another kid doing what she was doing in the store I probably would have been thinking, "Thank goodness MY kids don't act like that"! Or moments like this morning where my husband unintentionally breaks my heart. Those moments are all mixed in together.

The bad moments just serve to highlight the glimmer in the good moments I think. They are there as a dark background to a bright and luminous painting. But is it possible to have this mixed bag "happily ever after" forever? Will the canvas come crashing down and smear all over, leaving only dark smudges? I guess it's possible. I don't want to think that way, but I do sometimes.

P.S. I really like this song: