The Game is (back) On!

I invented this game a while back to resolve a common "couples" difficulty that Robbie and I had been struggling with: cutting each other down.

After about seven or eight years, things start to really get on your nerves about the other person and you begin to believe that they are not in fact going to change those habits without your "help", so you start to pick at them. You call attention to their faults, in the mistaken hopes that this will make them see the error of their ways and want to change. But take a basic psychology class, or even use your own reasoning and you can observe that this is definitely NOT a good way to motivate someone to change. Both Robbie and I were feeling like we could do no right in the other one's eyes.

Hence, "the game". As you can see above, there is a photo of the two of us together, and it is divided down the middle so there are 2 sides with columns under each person's photo. The game is to NOTICE good things that the other person did and write them down under your spouse's column. The goal of the game is not to fill up your own column, rather, to fill up your spouses column first, by noticing all the good things about them. The result is a shift from thinking, "Hey, look at all the good things I'm trying to do and he/she doesn't even notice or care" to thinking about all the positive traits of your spouse and showing them that yes, you do notice and appreciate. So the first person to fill up the other person's side, gets a "prize" - usually some sort of a massage. :) I know I made the game up myself, but I think it is a really fun game and it works out really well when we play it!

Hopefully this idea will help someone in their future married life, or life with an annoying roommate or something. LOL And Robbie, by the way if you are reading this, um, you owe me that massage.