"How other people's faults can be good for us"

I'll admit, this is a pointed post, also at myself, quoted from the book Interior Freedom:

"Badness isn't all bad." The bad behavor of those around us, which causes us suffering, offers certain benefits!
In our relations with other people we naturally seek that which we lack, and especially what we lacked in childhood. Other people's imperfections, and the disappointments they cause in us, oblige us to establish a relationship with them that is not limited to an unconscious search for the satisfation of our needs, but tends to become pure and disinterested, like God's love: "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Those imperfections also help us not to look to others for happiness, plenitude, and fulfillment we can only find in God. They invite us to "take root" in God. Disappointment in a relationship with someone from whom we were expectng a lot (perhaps too much) can teach us to go deeper in prayer, in our relationship with God, and to look to him for that fullness, that peace and security, that only his infinite love can guarantee. Disappointments in relationships with other people oblige us to pass from "idolatrous" love to a love that is realistic, free, and happy. Romantic love will always be threatened with disappointments. Charity never is, because it "does not insist on its own way" or seek its own interest.

Other people's offenses take nothing from us

One of the biggest obstacles to forgiving is the feeling that the other party's behavior has deprived us of something important, even vital. This confused feeling nourishes resentment. The thing in question may be material, affective or moral (not getting the love I had a right to, or the esteem, etc.), or even spiritual (the behavor of the person at the head of my community keeps my spiritual life from developing as it should...)
To live at peace, even when it is the people around us who are causing us suffering, we must take a fresh, radical look at our frustration. It does not correspond to reality. Other people's faults do not deprive us of anything. We have no valid reason for resentng them or their actions.
On the material plane, of course, other people can deprive us of many things. But not of what is essential, the only true and lasting good: God's love for us and the love we can have for him, with the inner growth it produces. Nobody can prevent us from believing in God, hoping in him, and loving him, everywhere and in all crcumstances. Faith, hope, and love make human beings fully human. All else is secondary and relative; even if we are deprved of it, that is not an absolute evil. There is within us something indestructible that is guaranteed by God's fathfulness and love.
Rather than wasting out time and energy blaming others for what isn't working out, or reproaching them for what we think they are depriving us of, we should striv e to acquire spiritual autonomy by deepening our relationship with God, the one unfailing source of all good, and growing in faith, hope and disinterested love. That others are sinners cannot prevent us from becoming saints. Nobody really deprives us of anything. At the end of our lives, when we come face to face with God, it would be childish to blame others for our lack of spiritual progress.